[Most Recent Entries]
Below are the 9 most recent journal entries recorded in
|Tuesday, September 9th, 2003|
Sorry if it's off topic.
Thanks to a brilliant idea given to me by Gapminder
, I set up a paypal account so anyone can make a little tiny dollar or two donation to help with my Oxford fund. This is to raise money so I can go to Oxford University in the summer. If it's a significant amount I've decided it will be paid back, in full with interest. I'm starting at the Springer soon, so all of that money will be used as well. Thank you everybody. Current Mood: accomplished
|Wednesday, October 17th, 2001|
something's gotta change
I'm not sure if this is a mood swing or not, but every once in a while I feel as if this particular person in my life doesn't know me as well as he used to. I've changed in the past few months, rather dramatically, and I don't think he's noticed. I mean, when there are obvious things wrong, it's hard to talk to him at my house because my computer (which is his stereo now it seems) is a huge distraction. I once told him that this Live Journal was a great way to get in my head and understand me better, he hasn't even looked at it, unless I "try to hide it" like my father, he seems to notice me when I'm in trouble.
Here's my laundry list of complaints:
1.) He picks on my driving. He claims I'm "oversensitive" about it. Maybe I am. Whenever he tries to "help me out" he really talks down to me (I think he likes the feeling of being in control of something). My father is a great driver, and Grandaddy told my mother before he died this year that he was so proud of me for getting my license. I felt so accomplished, like I had done something Leslie never did, and when he talks to me like that, he makes me feel like I should quit kidding myself about being good at it, because I'll never be as good as him.
2.) We don't talk anymore. We used to talk until some early hour in the morning about anything and everything. He would listen to my poetry ....and he said it was the most beautiful stuff he'd heard. He once wrote in an old journal he used to keep: "she has the voice of the most innocent girl-child" We would talk about his family, my family, EVERYTHING, and we would support each other, he was too scared to tear me down then, I guess.
3.) There's always something more I wish he would say. In any given situation or conversation, I'm always left with my mind comparing him to some higher standard. So, I'm left thinkng "why didn't he say that?"
4.) He never emails me back. I'll write him lengthy letters in class or email him. And not once have I gotten a reply, just a "yeah, things will be ok" or "aww, honey, the stuff you sadi was sweet"
5.) He calls this other girl "Darling" right in front of me and puts his arm around her. To hell eith that. I would never do a thing like that to him. I thought he only called me "Darling" anyway.
6.) I'm always the one "getting over it". I'm always the one geting over some situation....he's got that "whether you like it or not" attitude about a few things. I've had to get over him cheating on me, him ready to move his life to Texas to shack up with the Rottweiler leaving me with a very heavy burden, then changing his mind, me living with his one foot out of the door, his pot (though he said if I wanted him to, he'd quit) and his alcohol, among other things. What does he have to get over? JOHN? Oh you poor poor boy, your little girlfriend was attacked, raped, threatened, as well as scared half to death of leaving her house alone....but of course that took a toll on our realtionship back in the day...yeah, poor poor boy. My heart goes out to him.
Jesus, I'm so drained from letting all of this out...I know I seem like I hate him right now. I don't..in order to make the realtionship better or heal faster...I had to let it out somehow. Current Mood: depressed
|Friday, February 9th, 2001|
While I could have just posted this in the comments page, I just wanted to say that dreamland's icon is really pretty.
Yeah. *walks away*
|Saturday, January 27th, 2001|
Yes! I have a problem!
Please, Lord, make her never ever say "showt owt" again!
-Jay Current Mood: scared
|Friday, January 26th, 2001|
Alright. Finally. Go me. I finally found out how to do this. Alright so Jay got me to be a part of this and I give a major showt owt to my loverly Jay for thinkin this community up. It's a great idea :D. soooo If there's anything goin on in your life--let us know. we're here. Especially me even though I sound like a ravin lunatic. Love and peace to everyone
-Sara Current Mood: cheerful
Yes, welcome one and all... mainly one. Hiya. Glad to see you're here. Remember, if you see anything, post it here. Whether it be random journals, journals of friends, or maybe just a friend of yours who doesn't even use LJ, go ahead and post.
Now! Back to the cave where all things are dark and damp! Hah ahhahaha...!
-Jay Current Mood: crazy
|Thursday, January 25th, 2001|
yay! jay just added me to the community. =) well, just saying i'm here to help people out if they need an ear to talk to. i may not be the best at giving advice, but i'm willing to help and i'll always do my best to cheer you up and try to help you through your problems.
just take care of yourselves, ok? this is like the peer counselors center where we should share advice and listen to each other... *hugs*
|Tuesday, January 23rd, 2001|
Is it working?
Hello everyone. This is she, this is me, this is Anna, or something...
I am 16..blablahblablah...you can read about me in my info. I hope that we get a lot of people to join this community, I like it a lot so far...heh.
Now I am off to do some homework (ie. procrastinate).
|Sunday, January 17th, 2010|
For now, this will be the CRAZY intro message for The Listeners. Welcome. Listeners is a (as of right now very) small community of people dedicated to helping other valiant users of LiveJournal. If you, or a friend of yours, or just another random user has a problem, tell us, and we'll do our best to help you/them/it out. Anything. Even fake questions, to some extent, hehe. Anyway, this is lame at the current moment, but I believe you get the idea. Alright. And my own personal lj is at www.livejournal.com/users/smooploops ... so go knock yourself out.
-Jay Current Mood: accomplished